What does healthy sexuality look like?

Sex is one of the most powerful forces in the human condition. It can drive individuals to the pinnacle of emotional and physical ecstasy or, conversely, spiral other people into depths of despair and anguish. The power of sexual energy and expression exists because our sexuality is tied, or connected, to the core of who we are; it is our essence, our life force, our creativity, and our passion.

A sense of self means an inner knowing, a clarity of our true nature or authenticity. In healthy sexual expression, there is desire, connection, and a sense of well-being. The act of expressing one’s self sexually results in a positive, life-enhancing experience; it is an expression of love, an exchange of mutual pleasuring and respect that leads to an intimate connection.

Healthy sexual expression is found when you feel safe, connected and affirmed in the act of sexual expression.  We create emotional connection when we act with integrity, our values and beliefs intact.

An effective way to measure whether you have reached this point is to ask how you feel after being sexual.  Is it life-affirming and positive? Or is it what sex addicts have always felt, the feeling of shame?   In recovery our sexual experiences slowly become acts of affirmation and right intention, ultimately promoting and overall feeling of well being.